Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Why do straight people have to flaunt their sexuality?

Yesterday morning, Crank asked the question, "Do heterosexual people flaunt their sexuality?"  Phoebus answered no.  Sarah was silent because she wasn't there.

Once Crank had agreement that straight people don't flaunt their sexuality in public, he launched into a tale of his experience at the mall.   Gay people were everywhere and they all were openly talking about having sex with each other.  The experience wasn't one gay couple in one store.  "Every" store had gay people shopping and talking about sex.

We don't know which mall Crank went to that was crawling with gay people, but we can say that not one of the five of us even remotely experienced what Crank claimed he experienced.  We're not just talking about the Salisbury mall, either.  Between all of us and all the places we've been, we're talking about the Salisbury Mall, at least three different malls in Baltimore, the mall in Dover, a mall in Chester, PA, a couple of malls in Denver, CO and several malls in Phoenix, AZ.  We're also talking experience from two of us who are old enough to be Crank's Dad and experience of three of us who are old enough to be Crank's Mom or Dad if they started a family at a young age.  Still, not one of us can relate any experience even remotely similar to the mall experience Crank described - ever in our entire lives. 

Heck, remember when we all went to a few gay bars in Baltimore to see who had the most gay sex appeal - Crank, JJ, or Sarah?  (Crank unofficially won in the gay leather bar, by the way.)  Even there we did not hear or experience the kind of scene Crank described at his mall. 

On the other hand, we can relate a few stories where we witnessed a couple, usually a young man and young woman, who, by their actions, made us wonder if all the local motels were booked and they had nowhere else to go but the mall.

We wrote Crank's tale off as a fisherman's tale with a homophobic twist and we wouldn't have expected anything less from him when talking about gay people.  Like the fisherman who is prone to extreme exaggeration to make him look like a real fisherman, Crank is prone to extreme exaggeration, almost to the point of lying, not that there's really a difference between extreme exaggeration and lying, to make it appear gay people are oversexed perverts with no public couth.  Our guess is, through his eyes that view the world around him in stereotypes, he saw two people who "looked" gay to him, thought he heard something said that had sexual undertones, and we got the story that the mall was filled with gay people who could only talk about sex.

Thank God straight people don't flaunt their sexuality publically the way all those gay people at the mall flaunted theirs, huh?  That's what Crank and Phoebus told us yesterday morning.  Then why, this morning, were we entertained with Crank's method for getting his wife in the mood while Sarah and Phoebus jumped in with their sexual innuendos to bolster the story along.  Can you spell h-y-p-o-c-r-i-t-s?

After three years, we have never heard Crank, nor any DJ, talk respectfully about gay people, whether JJ has to remind us his comment isn't "homo or anything" (yes, JJ, we caught a bit of your show where you made the comment, again, but chose not to review it) or Crank regales us with his mall tale or talks about "furrier people".  (If you recall, even though Crank's "furrier" story was about people who think they are an animal, he chose a gay couple to illustrate how weird "furrier people" are.  Do the math.  If gay people make up 3% of the population and "furrier" people make up less than 1% of the population, then Crank should've picked a heterosexual couple to accurately portray the average "furrier" person and not the only gay "furrier" person in the country to illustrate the point.)  Crank has taken a more subtle, albeit less frequent, route to denigrate gay people, but the fact remains - gay people are fair targets for stereotyped bashing. 

Neither WZBH nor Crank ever apologized for that particularly offensive gay-, race-, and women-bashing show back on August 19, 2010 that motivated us to launch this blog.  While the homophobia, racism, and sexism is greatly toned down and less frequent from the days of Matt and Crank three years ago, it is all still there.  Women take a backseat to the men and that's how Sarah became the coffee girl on the show and gay people are oversexed, weird perverts and that's why not one DJ ever talks favorably or at least respectably about gay people.  The only positive observation is that racism appears to have disappeared from the regular lineup.

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