Saturday, April 30, 2011

Matt and Crank moonlighting

We've been listening to WZBH for the last couple of weeks, but really there isn't much to review that would stay in line with our stated purpose.  Sure, Matt said "fag", once, but in the context he used the word, we'd be splitting hairs on his intent.   JJ is still drunk and Chris Steele is mellow.  We're out of a job...

...except for our discovery of Matt and Crank's moonlighting behind their employer's back.  Yes, we did some digging and couldn't find any dirt on Matt and Crank.  Ok, we won't mention the underage possession charge citation and, no, we won't say if it was Matt or Crank who is the criminal. rather we will say it was Crank who was cited with the underage possession. Suffice it to say that one he is a criminal and he was over eighteen at the time of his arrest.  Eighteen-year-olds are trusted with M-16's fighting for our country so the "I was just a kid" excuse doesn't cut it.  Now, if he were arrested while serving our country, then the arresting officer would've been the criminal even if the law says otherwise.  But since the criminal decided to shirk his civic responsibility and let his peers fight for his rights while he hides behind a microphone lambasting everyone who appears to be infinging on his rights - he is nothing more than a criminal for drinking under twenty-one.

Back to the moonlighting gig.  Yes, we have found evidence that Matt and Crank have a second job and could probably be considered a conflict of interest by their employer.  The sad part of it is that if they made half the sense on their morning show as they do on their moonlighting job, Matt and Crank on WZBH would actually be entertaining and informative.

(Yes, the clip below is to show we do have a sense of humor and we don't mind ridiculing the two who ridicule everyone else.  And the underage possession charge is not made up)

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Our week in review - knockers, bad math, and blowing what?

We have nothing to review this week.  In addition to sampling the Matt and Crank program, we did listen to a sizable portion of WZBH's programming throughout the week.

Ok, we can mention Chris Steele avoided using "chicks" when referring to woman.  Now they're "hot women with big knockers".  What would you expect from one who holds the mentality of a high school sophomore?  To them and obviously Chris Steele, women and breasts are synonymous.

Oh, we should mention that valuable math lesson JJ gave us one night.  While talking about a drinking game centered around golf, a game he proudly called "Drinking with Tiger", he added eighteen and three and came up with twenty-four.  See what drinking does to your brain, kids? 

We certainly can't let Doug McKenzie's intentional or unintentional humor go by without a mention.  He started his commentary by telling his listeners he wouldn't talk about the Penis Museum because it was the lunch hour and no one would want to hear about penises.  He immediately followed that comment with "But here's something that really blows" and proceeded to talk about a couple who thought they had won the six million dollar lottery until they found out the numbers printed in the newspaper was a misprint and they didn't win anything.  Sure, thinking you may have won big in the lottery only to find out you didn't really does "blow", but the timing of using that phrase couldn't have been more precise.  The subtle humor wins Doug McKenzie the Drunk Rednecks' Humor Award as being the funniest thing we heard uttered on WZBH this week. Please contact us to claim your award.  We're not sure what your award is, but we are sure the claim of winning an award is a misprint.

 Due to upcoming scheduling changes in all five of the critics' lives (work, farming, and fishing) and the lack of anything substantial emanating from the Matt and Crank program and being promoted throughout the day, future reviews will be more scarce, if at all, and recordings of any segments will be non-existent, for the most part.  Listeners of WZBH and supporters of the Critics Page are always welcomed to add their own views.