Apparently, Crank is the coworker from Hell. In four years, he has gone through, count 'em, six cohosts. Yup, six of them: Matt Walsh, JJ, Sarah, Phoebus, Ian McKay, and Leah. While most good companies would've fired the coworker from Hell, Great Scott Broadcasting promotes Crank to Operations Manager and allows Crank to fly solo, a gig he has failed at more than once.
Us five drunk rednecks are opportunists and one of us needs a job. Mr. Crowley is willing to take on the employee from Hell and may the best man win. Please accept Mr. Crowley's résumé as his expressed interest in the position of cohost on The Worst Show Ever.
Second House Past the Oak Tree
Crowley's Bend, MD 21613
* Gradeated ninth grade auto shop
* Tell you the kind of grass jist by chewin the blade (legal grass, not the other kind).
* Learned to operate complicated chemistry machines by brewin white lightnin in
Pa's back woods. (DEA seized this, too.)
leave them up on blocks.
* Learned proper way to mount gun rack in back of a pickup.
Thank you for taking the time to review Mr. Crowley's qualifications. Based on the current cast of talent at WZBH, he feels he is more than qualified to fill the position and take WZBH to new heights. He feels confident the next cohost to leave The Worst Show Ever will be Crank - if you choose to hire Mr. Crowley.
We look forward to hearing from you soon. It is Mr. Crowley's turn to buy the beer so the sooner you can get him on the payroll, the sooner he can start buying the beer he owes the rest of us.
Five Drunk Rednecks