Sunday, June 5, 2011

Chris Steele has flown the coop

None of us have really been listening to WZBH the last few weeks.  We've caught bits and pieces here and there, but nothing worthy of writing about.  Sure, Matt multiplied nine by ten and came up with nine hundred, but JJ already beat him to the bad math about a month ago when he added three to eighteen and came up with twenty-four.  Ironically, Matt complained (When isn't he complaining?) that kids of immigrant parents do better in the math and sciences than kids whose parents were born in this country.  We can deduce that neither JJ nor Matt have immigrant parents.

We were going to write a review on one of Matt and Crank's segments where they justified profiling as a legitimate tool for law enforcement because we all profile every day so why shouldn't law enforcement.  We decided not to waste our time when one of our critic's eleven-year-old son chimed in on our debate amongst ourselves about the points raised by Matt and Crank.  He made us realize how childish the arguments really were.

JJ scared us one evening.  Prior to coming on air, he shares a bit of banter with Chris Steele, who is turning the mike over to JJ after his four hour shift.  They talked about DNR's proposed solution to our overpopulation of deer.  At a thousand bucks per deer, they want to shoot the deer up with hormones to prevent them from getting pregnant.  JJ had a simpler, and cheaper, solution.  Extend the hunting season and any deer shot after the normal season, the hunter would be required to donate half to feed the homeless and needy.

Why did JJ's solution scare us?  At the Critics Page, we've been saying the exact same thing for years.  The fact that JJ came up with the exact same solution and, yet, can't add eighteen and three has all of us scratching our heads.  Are we all just a bunch of drunk, math iliterates like JJ?  We like to think we know how to add simple numbers.

The real purpose of this review, however, is to bid farewell to Chris Steele.  Friday, we learned, Chris Steele is leaving WZBH to pursue his real career in, to quote JJ, "medical field".  Yes, those are air quotes JJ used.

Apparently, Chris Steele had been studying in medical school and now he is ready to move on to his chosen career.  We don't know what he studied in medical school, but we suspect that since he is so intimate with the chicks, he must be going on to become a veternarian.  One of our critics raises chickens and the chicks often get sick or act funny.  If you're reading this, Chris, we hope you make house calls and are willing to come down here to make our chicks happy and healthy so they can grow up and become good breeders.

Oh, and when we do our live interview of JJ, Matt, and Crank around July or August, we hope to be able to still include you.  For what we have in mind, we're sure you won't be too busy.

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