Sunday, July 6, 2014

Sarah outsourced to Montana country


Ok, we admit it.  We went for the sensationalized headline.  You know, like the headlines Fox News tries to grab you with.  In reality, Sarah moved over to CAT Country, 97.5.  Don't bother clicking on the link.  A bunch of drunk rednecks must've designed it because half the links over on that site don't work (at least at the time of this writing).

Back in April, we talked about the hemorrhaging of talent out of WZBH.  Almost a month after posting that analysis, Sarah signed up with Cat Country at Delmarva Broadcasting Company.  Country isn't really our thing, but a couple of us did tune in just to hear Sarah.  Not sure what she's doing, but we are sure she's made a positive career move.  There's more to the world of radio than bland dumbass stories interspersed with the music.  We always thought Sarah could make it big in radio and we hope her move will allow her to grow as an entertainer.

After our review of the new guy, Tyler, who took over Doug McKenzie's afternoon spot, his show drastically changed.  We were excited over his enthusiasm and his radical ideas of talking about the music instead of talking about dumbass stories.  Since our review a little over two months ago, we haven't heard Tyler talk about the music and the singers behind the music since.  While he is still the bright spot in the WZBH lineup, he's about as bright as a lightening bug in the afternoon. 

Tonya took over Captain Blue's spot from 10 am until 3 pm.  Don't know who she is and don't care.  We've already determined she's a lazy <fill in your own expletive here> who likes to sleep twelve hours a day.  Really, Tonya, how many times a week do you have to tell us that you like to sleep twelve hours a day?  Contrary to what Crank tells you, you work for a rock station.  Scrap the dumbass stories, talk about the music, and don't tell us about your sleeping habits.  Rockers sleep twelve hours - or more - on Tuesdays and Wednesdays only.  The rest of the time, they are up and doing, partying, and raising Hell.  Quit acting like an old lady.

Crank finally got a token side kick, Leah.  (We're not sure of the spelling of all the new names at WZBH because the Director of Operations, namely, Crank, has yet to update the WZBH website.)  It's not that it's important we know the proper spelling of Crank's new sidekick.  We didn't think there was anyone out there with less talent than Crank, but, by God, Crank found her.

In fact we understand what Crank's ultimate goal has been.  He's a boring no talent who talks about a lot of non-interesting topics in the "name of entertainment."  Listen to Crank and Leah then tune in at 7 pm for Nikki Sixx and his side kick. 

What's the difference?  Not much other than Nikki Sixx made a name for himself as a member of a great hair band of yesteryear whereas Crank isn't known past a handful of Delmarva listeners.  But the comparison is telling of WZBH's programming goals at the hands of the Director of Operations, Crank, a man that the powers-that-be put way too much faith in.  Play some music and talk about dumbass stories.  That's what Nikki Sixx does so it must work.

The Golden Age of Radio doesn't need to be dead, but the likes of Crank are hammering in the final nails to its coffin.  Washed up rockers like Nikki Six aren't helping, either. 

Oh yeah, that's right.  WZBH was big on "support your local businesses" about a year ago.  Now they have not one, but two nationally syndicated programs eating up their airspace.  Nikki Sixx takes up five hours every night of the work week (remember WZBH's "big and exciting announcement"?) and Hard Drive takes up Saturday nights.  We find it hard to believe that there is no local talent that could have filled these spots. 

Now you might be asking why we come down so hard on Crank.  Let us ask you this.  The number one most memorable rock song is "There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold", and what's the name of that song?

When a caller challenged Crank and Leah for not having that song in their top ten most memorable rock songs, both were stumped.  Neither even hinted that whoa, those lyrics sound familiar.  No, in Crank fashion, make the caller sound like an idiot for talking cryptically. 

Then the caller finished the lyrics.  "And she's buying a stairway to heaven." 

In a split second, Crank knew everything about the song.  Thank God for Google, huh Crank?

Could Crank recognize this iconic rock image?
You work for a rock station.  Memorable songs have lyrics few forget.  Yes, the song was before your time.  There were memorable songs before our time, but we recognize the lyrics even if we aren't sure of the song.  The standard of remembering, or at least vaguely recalling, is much higher on you than it is on us.  You failed with your caller.  And you failed with some of your listeners, some being at least two listeners.

 "We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year... Running over the same old ground, and having found... The same old fears."

Time to dump the fish bowl. 

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