Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Heaping more blame on gays

In the past couple of weeks, Crank and JJ have blamed gays for emo kids, slow progress on the Freedom Towers, political correctness run amok, and yesterday, for terrorist sympathy.

Crank started a story about Al Jazeera, an Arab newspaper, being allowed to interview detainees in Gitmo.  Crank rhetorically asked, “Why would we let an Arab organization into a military base?” JJ unhesitatingly answered, “Gay marriage”.

What ensued was a good ten-minute rant by JJ denigrating gays for causing America to “lose its backbone”.  Crank took a backseat and mostly quietly agreed with JJ. 

We had flashbacks to the old Matt and Crank days.  If it weren’t for JJ’s distinctive, irritating voice trying to imitate a stereotyped dumb blond, it could have been a Matt segment.

Since the other four of us can’t agree on how to approach this review, or simply don’t care, I will go it alone.

In answer to Crank’s question, “Who would allow Arabs onto a military base”, the answer is “Heterosexual divorce.”  We were a strong country until about forty years ago when heterosexuals decided they didn’t need a reason to divorce and the no-fault divorce laws came into existence.  Heterosexuals can’t keep their word in business, politics, or religion so it should come as no surprise that they can’t keep their word in the bedroom, either.

Once the heterosexuals got their way and could divorce with no reason at all, we’ve been sliding down a slippery slope.  Heterosexuals started living together without getting married.  Then they said, “Screw that and let’s just screw without the commitment.”  The heterosexual dating scene became an acceptable and legal prostitution ring filled with cheap, and sometimes not-so-cheap, one night stands.

Their religious leaders turn a blind eye to all the decadence around them and cry, “Persecution!” when moral people dare to speak the truth.  Then all the heterosexuals rally around the Constitution claiming they have the right to live their lifestyle the way they choose.  After all, God didn’t punish King Solomon for having 700 wives and a thousand concubines so who are we to judge?

To shield their decadent lifestyles from the truth, heterosexuals invented political correctness to effectively block the truth from harming them.  The heterosexuals are running this country into the ground and straight to Hell, but we can’t say that because we might hurt someone’s feelings.

And that’s why Arabs are allowed on our military bases.

See how easy that was?  Of course, I don’t believe a word of my explanation, but I hope some readers will get the point. 

One thing all five of us agree on is Crank and JJ need to go.  Their show started out as a bright new change in WZBH’s programming, but is slowly morphing back to the old style of White, heterosexual male is good, everyone else is bad.  They’ve been testing the waters with gay bashing and last week moved to immigrant bashing.  They have proven themselves to be homophobic xenophobes.

If you caught yesterday morning’s gay bashing routine and more or less agree that the programming was out of line, please let the sponsors know how you feel.  The list below is the local companies who unknowingly sponsored JJ’s hate-filled rant when WZBH decided to run their ads immediately following the segment.

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