Thursday, July 28, 2011

It ain't the White boys' fault

I’m going to switch it up and scrap the formal writing bit.  I’m going to talk to you as if we were sharing a beer.  Makes the review more personal, don’t you think?  So grab a beer while I take to the soapbox.

I briefly caught the Matt and Crank program this morning.  They were talking about the beach, sexual temptation, and poked fun at an Amish guy at the beach.  Those White boys sure do have a lot of sexual hang ups.

I understand where they’re coming from.  They’re a product of their environment.  They grew up in their White, middle class suburbs and take a look at their role models they had.  The White priests, teachers, and probably Uncle Bob sexually molested kids their age.  Talk about messing with a kid’s mind.  Sex is wrong followed by a lesson of fondling in the back room.  The ol’ do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do lesson, a lesson drilled into White kids’ heads every day.

Then there’s all the leaders fooling around with other women while preaching the moral way to live your life.  You got prominent White political and Christian leaders fooling around in the bathrooms, fooling around in the hotel room while their wife lies in a hospital bed, buying male and female prostitutes, or advertising their goods over the Internet.  Yet another do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do lesson, a lesson drilled into White kids’ heads every day.

Come on.  What’s up with the White boys advertising their goods?  Brothers don’t advertise their goods.  If you’re advertising your goods, it’s because your goods aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.  Must be that sexual repression and feelings of inadequacy White boys carry around all the time.  It’s because of this emotional baggage that White people are becoming a minority in this country.  They’re too damn scared to have sex and have babies.  And their advertising campaign ain’t working.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying Matt and Crank were molested as kids or cheat on their women, but they are aware of the almost daily abuses around them.  How else could you explain their obsession with sex?  The beach isn’t a place of sexual temptation and the pool isn’t a place where kids run around half naked.  At least brothers don’t see those places that way. 

Next time you go to the beach, pay attention to how few brothers are hanging around.  Brothers don’t hang out at the beach because all those White boys with sexual hang ups lurk about.  It’s not really a good place to take your kids to.  Know what I mean?

The hilarious part of the show was the commercial break.  Matt and Crank hawked AT&T phones for parents getting their kids ready for school. 

I recall on more than one occasion Matt and Crank whining about how technology is ruining our kids’ lives.  They spend all day on the computer or texting and sexting on their phones instead of playing outside like normal kids are supposed to do.  Now they’re trying to push the technology off on our kids as a back to school special.  They sold their soul to the highest bidder.

Yeah, our White boys on WZBH are entering into manhood and are putting into practice the lesson drilled into their heads all their lives.  Today they’re selling phones to our kids knowing how bad the technology is on their lives.  Tomorrow, they’ll be spending past our debt limit to fight some horrible group of people; devising new Ponzi schemes to bilk investors out of their life savings; use questionable accounting methods to get rich off hard working employees’ pension plans and then fold up shop, leaving the employees with nothing; send more jobs overseas because nine figures a year isn’t enough profit; devise new charges for every day transactions that they know people will screw up so they can create a new billion dollar a year industry; create new insurance policies everybody can afford until they need it, then they don’t have it; and my personal favorite, offer the poor sots false hope as long as they give generously to the collection plate.

Brothers didn’t get us into our current moral and financial crisis we’re mucked in.  The greedy White boys practicing the age ol’ lesson of do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do, drilled into their heads since they were kids, is what has brought our country to its knees.

Hell, I don’t blame Matt and Crank for their hang ups and hypocrisy.  It’s what White boys raised in middle class suburbia are taught.  They don’t know no better.

1 comment:

  1. They don't do flash mobs at least! :)