Prior to the eight o'clock news with Innae Park, Matt and Crank aired their latest prank call. The call, made to a hotel, had Matt using a contrived, old man's voice trying to make a reservation. As any listener has come to expect, the character Matt developed in the old man was a cardboard cutout of stale stereotypes. At least we know Matt can cut along the dotted lines with precision.
The old man portrayed was a forgetful, sleepy, racist. During the call, he'd forget what he just said, he fell asleep during the call, and he ended the call with wanting a room where the Blacks, Hispanics, and Koreans couldn't get a room. The call ended when the clerk on the other end hung up after Matt asked if a hose would be available so he could hose down any Canadians who may be there.
Like typical ninth-grade boys, Matt and Crank thought the segment was hilarious. There are two ways the segment could've been funny. The clerk could've reacted with witty counter comments to the banal stereotype he was faced with or Matt and Crank could've created an endearing character with depth to his personality. Sadly, neither happened. If it weren't for the two segments that followed, The Critics Page wouldn't even have mentioned this prank call as it was only worthy for the septic system. Eerily, we believe Matt was giving us a glimpse of his future.
After the news with Innae Park, Matt and Crank launched into a rant about the coming extinction of the Western European Anglo-Saxon race generated from a story out of Texas that predicted White people would be a minority in Texas within a few years. The first segment starts with a poorly constructed analogy of how we get upset over the impending extinction of a bird - using an eagle, a sparrow, and some made up bird as an example - yet we don't get upset about the impending extinction of the "White culture." Matt carefully tried to avoid using the phrase, "White culture" and, instead, substituted "West European Angl-Saxon culture", but any half-educated listener knows what he meant.
It is apparent that either Matt thinks of the races of people as different species or he is a product of a failed education system and really doesn't understand the concept. An eagle and a sparrow are about as related as a dog and a cat. And while Matt may like to think of himself as an eagle, the sparrow serves an equally important role in the ecological system. The disappearance of either one upsets the natural balance of the ecological system and can contribute to extinctions of other animals that directly or indirectly depends on either one for survival.
This may come as a surprise to Matt, but people are people regardless of the color of their skin. White people aren't the eagles and everyone else aren't the sparrows. It is clear from the analogy Matt chose to use that his beliefs are founded in the notion of the superiority of the White race.
The two segments warrant no further comment from The Critics Page. We decided that we didn't want to add any legitimacy to Matt's claims by debating them point-for-point. We are greatly disappointed in Crank's peerformance, though. We have deduced that he is married to a non-White woman and he tried feebly to counter Matt's comments. Yes, Crank is still Matt's little boy. Crank didn't stand up like a man and call out Matt for his racist comments and end the segment before Matt dug them both neck deep in a quagmire of sludge.
Readers of this review can judge for themselves with the two clips below. We challenge anyone to listen to what Matt said and compare it to what is plastered over any White supremacist website or the well-known White supremacist discussion board, Stormfront, and explain to us how what they have to say about the extinction of the White race and culture is racist, but Matt's claims are not.
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