JJ makes the same mistake as Matt

“I don’t care if some guy living in his Mom’s basement puts this on his blog,” JJ defiantly stated as he went on a short rant.  “You know this is going to make his blog.”

Well, no, JJ, your little rant this morning wouldn’t have made our blog, but we’re more than happy to oblige you.

For the last two weeks, I have been writing our next review based on what we all have heard over the last month.  After this morning’s show, the other four critics said I could go ahead and write what I wanted.  I am condensing the two week’s worth of writing I have already done down to three sentences.  What a huge, and enjoyable, improvement in the Worst Show Ever with JJ and Sarah.  Sarah has stopped trying to be “one of the boys” and is developing an engaging on air personality.  JJ has mostly stopped qualifying what he says with the stale “No homo” comment. 

Now to make JJ happy and rip into today’s show.

JJ covered the news like he does every morning.  He apologized for “getting political” before covering the news about Chic-Fil-A.  We’ve noticed JJ has started “apologizing” before talking about some news story, much to our dismay.  We’re still wondering why he apologized today before going into his short rant.

In case you aren’t up to speed on this particular news story, the owners of Chic-Fil-A stated they are against same-sex marriage and the statement, brought to light by an alderman in Chicago on why Chicago should deny Chic-Fil-A a permit to build another restaurant, has caused a mild tempest on the radio and Internet, mostly among the far right conservative Christians.

The gist of JJ’s argument, backed by Sarah, was that the owners of Chic-Fil-A are entitled to hold their own opinions and their personal opinions shouldn’t play a role in whether or not people will eat there.  JJ’s and Sarah’s editorial comments on the news story were spot on and actually shocked the two of us who caught the segment.

The only comment JJ made that we could object to, if we wanted to nit pick, was his comment that gays shouldn’t flaunt their homosexuality because it makes him uncomfortable when another guy tries to hit on him.

Here’s the bad news, JJ.  We’ve all seen your picture and agree that no gay guy in his right mind would hit on you.  If flaunting ones sexual orientation is asking someone out, we suggest you stop flaunting your heterosexuality and making so many woman uncomfortable in your presence.  We’re sure there have been plenty of women who have struggled with how to politely turn your advances down.  If a gay guy has ever approached you, you now know how you make some women feel.

But, honestly, the two of us who caught the show didn’t find his comments offensive, just ironic.  And we applaud both JJ and Sarah for taking an objective, yet firm stand on why we should ignore the lunatics and continue eating at Chic-Fil-A.

Where JJ strayed from thoughtful editorial comment with a twist of irony was his rant about probably making a blog written by some kid living in Mom’s basement and that he didn’t care if he did make the blog.

  Wow.  Flashback to the old days of Matt and Crank when they tried to convince listeners that some social recluse of a geek living in Mom’s basement was behind this blog and they didn’t care either.

In fairness to JJ, he may not have been talking about this blog, but we are unaware of any other blog that regularly reviews the programming on WZBH and particularly the morning show.  If there is one, please let us know.  We’d be interested in reading their take on WZBH’s programming.

If he were talking about this blog, let me set the record straight since I write almost everything on here based on what the other four and I talk about.

There are five of us.  All five of us listen to WZBH.  Like the kids today, we get bored and play with all the electronic toys.  We hear something, we text each other about it.  On Saturday nights, all or some of us show up at the local bar, the only one we have down here, and, while waiting for our turn at the pool table, we talk about what we texted about all week.

The writing falls on me because the other four agree I do a much better job than they could.  None of us are kids or live with their mom.  In fact, I am the second oldest and old enough to be JJ’s father.  The youngest in our loose knit group isn’t old enough to be JJ’s mom, unless she wanted to be the topic of the daily dumbass, but is old enough to be Sarah’s mom.

We are puzzled.  Since we started paying attention to WZBH after Matt’s particularly offensive show on August 19, 2010, we have noticed almost every DJ whining about the average American being more interested in the latest reality TV show than to get off their butts and make a change that matters.  We have done that.  Whether or not this blog has facilitated the many changes at WZBH since that day in August two years ago is immaterial.  What we have shown is expressing one’s opinions at least professionally, if not intelligently, gets people’s attention and may facilitate change.  Why, then, do all the people, fans included, who complain about the average American not caring to make an effort to change something turn around and try their damnedest to make a group of grown adults who are trying to do something to make a change look like some lonely kid living in Mom’s basement?  Some advice, JJ.  Go to Matt’s FaceBook page and ask him how that tactic worked out for him.

As a side note, JJ, the two of us who caught the morning show today called in, but not to talk about your little morning rant.  It’s not the first time any of us five have called in, either.  We’re both annoyed at you calling us “brother.”  We’re not your brother because, if we were, we’d have to kick your ass. 

For fans of this blog, here’s a cliffhanger for you.  In texting this morning, the idea of conducting an unscientific poll on JJ’s sex appeal with gays came up.  We think no gay guy in his right mind would want to ask JJ out.  We want to know if our bold statement is true.  We’re thinking of taking JJ’s picture (and just his picture, not who he is or any information about him) to some gay bars in Baltimore and see what sex appeal he has in the gay community.  If we’re wrong, we’ll retract our statement and apologize to JJ.

Where has everyone gone?

Since our last review, there have been some changes at WZBH, none of which, we believe, were the direct or indirect result of our work here.  The big news is the departure of Crank from WZBH.  He accepted Matt’s old position at WGMD. 

We always held hope for Crank.  He didn’t let his conservative view of the world trap him in a quagmire of contradictions and hypocrisy like so many of his conservative counterparts.  Unfortunately, he played second fiddle to first, Matt, and then JJ.  Briefly, Crank stood alone between Matt’s firing and JJ stepping in, but to our dismay, he flopped around during those couple of weeks like a fish on the moon.  When JJ stepped in, Crank took up the straight man role and let JJ be (or try to be) the comedic star.

We can’t get WGMD here, but one of us had been working in Salisbury and caught parts of Crank, who now goes by his real name, Andrew Murr, in his new gig.  Our other critic’s take: “The fish is done flopping around on the moon.  He’s flopping around Salisbury right now.  At least he’s getting closer to the water.”

In case Andrew Murr is reading this, here’s our constructive criticism we hope you can take something from.  (Yes, we really do want to see you rise to big stardom and believe you can.)

First, stay away from the conservative playbook.  On any given day, whether one is listening to Limbaugh, Hannity, Savage and, yes, even Walsh, they all say the same thing almost verbatim.  We don’t know who writes the conservative playbook all the conservative talk show hosts follow so write your own playbook and stand out from the crowd.

In writing, one is taught to avoid passive writing and write in the active voice.  None of us know the radio business, but we think it’s safe to say the same rule applies to radio.  Listeners don’t want to hear what things seem to be.  They want to hear what things are.  They don’t want to hear what things appear to be or probably are.  They want to hear what things are.  They don’t want to hear what you think.  They want to hear what you know.

The worse advice anyone can give is to tell you to talk to your audience as you would a friend.  Odds are the passive voice is the way you talk to your friends.  Stop using the words “seem”, “appear”, “probably”, and the phrase, “I think”.  A good cook rarely uses salt and when he does, he uses it sparingly.  Think of those words as salt and put the cap back on the shaker when you do your show.

The above advice we offer for free.  People pay good money for that kind of advice.  Oh, and knock it off with that talk about building another bridge from the western Shore to Cambridge. 

With Crank’s absence, JJ has assumed the lead role on WZBH’s morning show, now called The Worse Show Ever With JJ and Sarah.  JJ has undergone a subtle, but noticeable transformation.  He’s dropped the dumb act, one he never pulled off very well to begin with. 

He’s also dropped his homophobic remarks.  Hardly a day goes by, though, that as he is talking about something, he’ll interject “No homo” to clarify to the listeners he is not gay for talking about whatever he’s talking about.  We write that off as his own insecurity in his manhood.  You never here a gay guy talk about a beautiful woman, for example, and feel a need to interject, “No hetero” to make it clear he’s not heterosexual.  That’s because most gays are secure with who they are.  Maybe JJ will be secure with himself some day, too.

Sarah is a token female version of Crank, only more subdued.  To be honest, Darnell’s Mr. Turtle has more personality than Sarah.  Sarah should go home and learn something from Mr. Turtle before returning to the show.

On a closing note, for those who may be interested, an update on Matt Walsh.

Matt left WGMD and is now in Kentucky on WLAP.  Being subject to prejudices and stereotypes like everyone else, our first thoughts were he was where he belonged.  After following his first few weeks in KY on FaceBook, turns out he may not be where he belongs.  The fans of the station are a tougher audience and don’t fall so easily for the empty rhetoric Matt is known for on Delmarva.

Anyone who has listened to Matt long enough knows he’s limited in material.  Don’t vote Republican or Democrat.  Teachers are pedophiles.  We’re doping our children to cure the fictional disease ADD.  Abortion is wrong.  Muslims are evil.  Social programs are a waste of your money.  Immigrants are taking over the country.  And back to don’t vote Republican or Democrat.

Don’t believe us?  About a year or two ago he posted a little clip about passing a stranger every time he went to the ice machine.  That might have been posted around his honeymoon time.  Now he’s in Kentucky and posted it again.  New audience makes old material new again.

But it’s this post by Matt we found most interesting:

Well, Billy, when there's been a certain group that has tried numerous times over 5 years to take away you and your family's livelihood you might, after a while, come to the point where some of these adjectives seem appropriate. Remiind me to tell you some time about how GLAAD told me they were going to send me pamphlets on the "correct" way to discuss "LGBT issues". And then some other time I'll show you the mounds of hate mail and veiled threats I've accumulated over the years for the sin of speaking my mind on the subject. And don't even get me started on all the "tolerant" folks who swore up and down they would do everything in their power to get me fired. So yeah, when I use these words I've got 5 years of experience dealing with this sort of "advocacy" to back it up.

Matt forgot to tell his new Kentucky fans that three years ago, he aired a particularly offensive show aimed towards gays, Blacks, and women.  He failed to tell them that after some fans complained, the next day he defiantly stated he wouldn’t apologize and challenged his listeners who were offended to “go ahead and call the station and try to get him fired.”

No, the story is the militant gays swooped down and tried to take away his livilihood.

Matt validated what we suspected.  While Matt was busy daily ranting against some made up fan living in Mom’s basement for making this page, we were paying attention to who was using the page.  GLADD wasn’t the only organization taking an interest.  At least three other non-gay groups took an interest.  We suspected we were being successful in our endeavor and Matt has validated our suspicion.

As for the accusation of taking “away you and your family’s livelihood”, that’s the nature of public life.  Matt and every other talk show host has made a living off threatening other people’s livelihood by constantly denigrating everything they do and everything they say.  We’ve done nothing differently.

As residents of Delmarva and listeners to the public airwaves, we have just as much right to voice our disagreement on what is being aired as Matt has the right to voice his disagreement with, well, just about anyone who is not White, conservative, Christian, and heterosexual.

Here’s the lessons Matt should’ve learned:

1. Be careful what you challenge your listeners to do.  They just might take you up on it.
2. One earns a lot of respect if he backs up his opinions with facts and tells the whole story, not just the parts he wants others to hear. 
3. Listen to your audience.  Believe it or not, they do have the power to make or break your career.

GLADD and the other three groups would never have heard of Matt Walsh, The Matt and Crank Show, or even Delmarva if only Matt had followed those three rules three years ago.  The big question is will Matt make the same mistakes in Kentucky?

Heaping more blame on gays

In the past couple of weeks, Crank and JJ have blamed gays for emo kids, slow progress on the Freedom Towers, political correctness run amok, and yesterday, for terrorist sympathy.

Crank started a story about Al Jazeera, an Arab newspaper, being allowed to interview detainees in Gitmo.  Crank rhetorically asked, “Why would we let an Arab organization into a military base?” JJ unhesitatingly answered, “Gay marriage”.

What ensued was a good ten-minute rant by JJ denigrating gays for causing America to “lose its backbone”.  Crank took a backseat and mostly quietly agreed with JJ. 

We had flashbacks to the old Matt and Crank days.  If it weren’t for JJ’s distinctive, irritating voice trying to imitate a stereotyped dumb blond, it could have been a Matt segment.

Since the other four of us can’t agree on how to approach this review, or simply don’t care, I will go it alone.

In answer to Crank’s question, “Who would allow Arabs onto a military base”, the answer is “Heterosexual divorce.”  We were a strong country until about forty years ago when heterosexuals decided they didn’t need a reason to divorce and the no-fault divorce laws came into existence.  Heterosexuals can’t keep their word in business, politics, or religion so it should come as no surprise that they can’t keep their word in the bedroom, either.

Once the heterosexuals got their way and could divorce with no reason at all, we’ve been sliding down a slippery slope.  Heterosexuals started living together without getting married.  Then they said, “Screw that and let’s just screw without the commitment.”  The heterosexual dating scene became an acceptable and legal prostitution ring filled with cheap, and sometimes not-so-cheap, one night stands.

Their religious leaders turn a blind eye to all the decadence around them and cry, “Persecution!” when moral people dare to speak the truth.  Then all the heterosexuals rally around the Constitution claiming they have the right to live their lifestyle the way they choose.  After all, God didn’t punish King Solomon for having 700 wives and a thousand concubines so who are we to judge?

To shield their decadent lifestyles from the truth, heterosexuals invented political correctness to effectively block the truth from harming them.  The heterosexuals are running this country into the ground and straight to Hell, but we can’t say that because we might hurt someone’s feelings.

And that’s why Arabs are allowed on our military bases.

See how easy that was?  Of course, I don’t believe a word of my explanation, but I hope some readers will get the point. 

One thing all five of us agree on is Crank and JJ need to go.  Their show started out as a bright new change in WZBH’s programming, but is slowly morphing back to the old style of White, heterosexual male is good, everyone else is bad.  They’ve been testing the waters with gay bashing and last week moved to immigrant bashing.  They have proven themselves to be homophobic xenophobes.

If you caught yesterday morning’s gay bashing routine and more or less agree that the programming was out of line, please let the sponsors know how you feel.  The list below is the local companies who unknowingly sponsored JJ’s hate-filled rant when WZBH decided to run their ads immediately following the segment.

• Old Pro Golf in Ocean City – website at http://www.oldprogolf.com/
• Pizza Mambo in Ocean City – FaceBook page at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Pizza-Mambo/100853133292894 Please note JJ narrated the commercial.  I wonder if Pizza Mambo approves of such a spokesperson.
• Primo Hoagies in Ocean City – website at http://www.primohoagies.com/
• Holly Kia in Selbyville and Felton – website at http://www.hollykia.com/

What? All immigrants, not just gay immigrants are to blame?

After a week of listening to Crank and JJ blame gay people for emo kids, political correctness run amok, and our country’s slowness in building skyscrapers, we were surprised to hear them blame immigrants, not just gay immigrants, for Chagas (SHAY-gus), a new disease dubbed “America’s new AIDS”.

Their whole segment talked about “the new AIDS” that anyone can get from blood sucking insects and profusely blamed immigrants for bringing this new disease to our backyards.

Crank and JJ didn’t quote a source for their news story, but we found a FOX News story that drew liberally from a New York Times story, which had reported on an editorial in a scientific paper.  In five minutes, we were able to dispel every lie Fox News reported and Crank and JJ helped spread, even if they didn’t get their story from Fox News.

The disease is not new.  It is prevalent from the Mexico-US border southward through Latin and South America.  It was first identified over one hundred years ago and some experts believe Darwin succumbed to the disease.

A particular type of insect, commonly called “the kissing bug”, which is related to our common assassin bug, transmits it.  Unlike our assassin bug, this insect sucks blood.  The parasite responsible for Chagas disease relies on the kissing bug to complete its life cycle.  The other part of its life cycle relies on opossums, armadillos, raccoons, squirrels, and mice.  In this country opossums and armadillos have been found to carry the parasite and are the health officials primary concern.

Cases of Chagas originating in this country are rare.  It’s no coincidence that the reason is the kissing bug is native to the Mexico-US border southward.  The bug, no doubt, wanders into our country because bugs generally don’t pay attention to national borders.

Most new cases of Chagas in this country are diagnosed in immigrants coming from south of our border.  The disease is not contagious.  Unlike the flu, you can’t get Chagas from being near an infected person.  Unlike AIDS, you can’t get it from having sex with an infected person.

Can you count the lies Crank and JJ spread yesterday?  Here’s our tally:

1. It is not a new disease.  It’s been around probably forever.  At least we know it’s been around for over a hundred years when the parasite responsible for the disease was first identified.
2. Immigrants didn’t bring a deadly disease to this country.  Although rare, it’s always been here in our opossums and armadillos.  Albeit a lot more people have the disease because they have come from areas where the disease is prevalent (30,000 immigrants according to Fox News), they aren’t spreading the disease to innocent Americans.
3. Blood sucking insects don’t spread the disease.  A certain type of blood sucking insect does.  The insect is rare in this country.
4. The disease has no similarities to AIDS other than if left untreated it can kill.

Four lies spread yesterday, but since when has anyone expected Crank and JJ to let facts get in the way of spreading their bigotry? 

Can mantyhose be used as a gag?

Judging by today's dumbass segment, it looks like WZBH is returning to its glory days of gay bashing.  Even the only female DJ at WZBH jumped into the fray.

Today's dumbass centered on the new "fashion trend" of men wearing pantyhose, marketed as mantyhose, among other names.  Crank and JJ reported the mantyhose is all the rage in Europe and they're heading for an American debut.

JJ blurted out, in disgust, that this "fairy dust" fad must've been started by a homosexual.  As Crank and JJ discussed the fad with disgust, liberal amounts of gay bashing were thrown in.  Sarah jumped in the fray, boldly stating that if a guy approached her wearing mantyhose, she'd "punch him in the face."

The message conveyed was clear.  Gays are ruining this country and manhood.  The fad, like gays, is disgusting.  And, at least for women, it is acceptable to punch someone in the face because you don't like what they wear, especially if that person is wearing something that makes you believe he is gay.

Here's what they didn't tell you.  Gays did not develop the mantyhose nor promoted it.  Emilio Cavallini of Italy did.  We don't know if the 67-year-old Cavallini is gay or not nor do we care.  We do know that he quit college and started designing a pantyhose collection in 1970.  That business has grown over the last forty-two years to a multi-billion dollar company.  He's hugely popular in Italy and Europe.  While women's wear is his design speciality, he has branched out to menswear and unisex wear.  The "fad that's all the rage in Europe" accounts for 2-3% of his pantyhose sales.

With five minutes of research, we learned gays had nothing to do with the mantyhose.  One man, who would normally be hailed as a capitalist success story, did.  We also learned the fad, based on total sales, appears to be more media hype than a fad.  Nothing like media hype to boost sales of a product.

Crank and JJ need to go back to the other side of the Bay where they came from.  Sarah should be sent back to her trailer park to cook beans and franks for her man. 

We don't know why the Western Shore keeps sending their trash over here, but, hey, take your trash back.  We're not a bunch of dumb rednecks who appreciate any form of entertainment because we can't produce our own and Delmarva is not a dumping ground for your no-talents.  WZBH should get rid of Crank, JJ, and probably Sarah and replace them with real local talent.

At $27 per pair, mantyhose is too expensive to waste on a pair of entertainer wannabes.  I encourage anyone reading this to send a 99-cent pair of pantyhose, or even used ones you don't want any more, to Crank and JJ with instructions of how to wear them as a mouthpiece.  We're sure Crank and JJ mumbling through a pantyhose gag would greatly enhance the entertainment value of the show.  You can mail your pantyhose to:

WZBH STUDIOS
ATTN: CRANK AND JJ
20200 DUPONT BOULEVARD
GEORGETOWN, DE 19947

Include a google map so they can find their way back to the Western Shore where they belong.

Crank and JJ in the dog house

The other day, Crank and JJ's daily dumbass centered on a couple in Britain who spent $10,000 in plastic surgery for their bloodhound, Junior.  The spiel went along the lines of what normal person in their right mind would spend that kind of money to make their bloodhound look less of a bloodhound by tightening up the dog's skin with a face lift and tummy tuck. 

Here's a quick challenge question for you: what is the difference between Crank and JJ and reporters on The National Enquirer staff?  Answer: reporters for The National Enquirer at least make up their own creative lies out of nothing.  They don't take a real story and lie about it.

After hearing the story as joked about by Crank and JJ, later in the day, another one of our critics heard the story reported on another radio station, 107.1, The Duck.  Their story contradicted the story as told by Crank and JJ.  Sure enough, a local paper in Britain also contradicted Crank and JJ's version of the story.  Some key points:

• The sum total paid over two years was $15,000, not $10,000.
• The couple did not shell out this money.  Their pet insurance did.
• The surgery was not for cosmetic reasons.  The dog suffered from a rare genetic defect that caused excessive bagginess of the skin.  The face lift was to prevent the dog from going blind.  The tummy tuck was to remove excessive skin that had become infected after having a large growth removed from the stomach.

We understand Crank and JJ are entertainers trying really hard to entertain morning commuters.  We don't expect perfect reporting with every fact exact.  $15,000, $10,000, big deal.  minor discrepancy.  Crank and JJ are entertainers, not reporters who have to have every fact correct.  The other two facts to the story, however, are important and central to their claim that the couple were dumbasses for providing plastic surgery to their dog.

Insurance wouldn't have paid for the surgery if the surgery were for cosmetic reasons only.  Obviously, the dog suffered medically and needed attention.  The couple should've been heralded as responsible pet owners for having the foresight to obtain pet insurance.  Even if they had paid for the operations out of their own pocket, they should be heralded as responsible pet owners for getting their dog the necessary medical treatment to prevent the dog from suffering.

Now that Crank and JJ made dumbasses out of the couple by outright lying about the reasons for giving their dog a face lift and tummy tuck, we seriously question the validity of any of their daily dumbass reports.  They've lost their credibility as news gatherers, but gained credibility as lazy entertainer wannabes.  If you're going to make up the daily dumbass, at least be creative enough to come up with one out of your own imagination.  Don't take a real story and omit the facts just so you have someone to make fun of.

Daily dumbass? Nope, dumbasses of the year.

Out of the five original critics, two of us are left and occasionally tune in.  Overall, we are happy to see WZBH clean up their programming style and the addition of a woman deejay is refreshing.  Then there's the morning show....

JJ is a domesticated version of Matt, but a lot smarter. 

"Smarter?" you might ask.

Yes, smarter.  He plays the part of a goofball who stumbles over words larger than two syllables.  We figure he's either really dumber than an oyster or he's smart enough to play the dumb oyster role to get away with saying just about anything.  Fortunately, he takes fifteen minutes to get to a point and we usually switch stations after two minutes.  Only ocassionaly will we suffer through the full fifteen minutes.

We've been disheartened the last month or so with Crank and JJ's subtle gay slurs and their definition of a real man.  Like we said before, the thirty-something duo are trying to pass themselves off as high school locker room jocks.  They succeed with conveying that image about as well as Madonna pulled of acting like a virgin or Newt Gingrich pulls off being a moral, upstanding conservative.  Crank and JJ would be a Hell of a lot funnier and more entertaining if they acted like the thirty-somethings they are and not the 16-18-year-olds they wish they were.

But that's not why they earned the dumbasses of the year.  They earned the title because of their report on today's daily dumbass.  In case you missed it, today's daily dumbass was some gaming company that launched a promotion of a new game by sending copies into space.  The copies were tagged with a GPS system and the idea was when the games came back to earth, fans could track where they land and get a free copy.

The first copy fell in a protected virgin forest high up in a 150-foot tree.  Fans hacked their way through the protected forest, cutting down many trees along the way and started hacking at the old tree.  They were promptly arrested.  Crank and JJ could not understand why the fans should be arrested for cutting some trees down.  Trees, after all, would grow back so no harm done.

Crank and JJ expressed today's self-centered attitude prevalent among those under forty.  The forest was not only protected, but it was a special forest.  It was a virgin forest.  Very few virgin forests are left in this country.  We all have grown up in the scarred landscape of less than a hundred-years-old and many people probably figure our forests today are what our settlers seen when they first arrived.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

A virgin forest is five hundred, even a thousand-years-old.  It has never been clear cut to the ground and has very few, if any, invasive plants growing in it.  It's as close to what the settlers saw when they first came to this country as we'll ever see.  Cut it down and the invasive plants take over and the forest withers away.  It would take many centuries of careful management to get the forest back to where it has been for the last five or ten centuries. 

Yes, we agree the gaming company is the daily dumbass.  What responsible corporation would send their trash into space to fall wherever it may fall?  The decision makers at the company should be arrested for littering and abetting the destruction of a protected forest.  The fans of the game were rightly arrested.  None should get a slap on the wrist by paying a fine and doing some community service.  All should be hauled off to jail and the key thrown away.

Crank and JJ have cemented their title as dumbasses of the year for defending the fans who valued a game over natural beauty and are well on their way to vying for the dumbasses of the decade.  Competition for that title is stiff, though.    Madonna and Gingrich are giving them a run for their money.