Today's dumbass centered on the new "fashion trend" of men wearing pantyhose, marketed as mantyhose, among other names. Crank and JJ reported the mantyhose is all the rage in Europe and they're heading for an American debut.
JJ blurted out, in disgust, that this "fairy dust" fad must've been started by a homosexual. As Crank and JJ discussed the fad with disgust, liberal amounts of gay bashing were thrown in. Sarah jumped in the fray, boldly stating that if a guy approached her wearing mantyhose, she'd "punch him in the face."
The message conveyed was clear. Gays are ruining this country and manhood. The fad, like gays, is disgusting. And, at least for women, it is acceptable to punch someone in the face because you don't like what they wear, especially if that person is wearing something that makes you believe he is gay.
Here's what they didn't tell you. Gays did not develop the mantyhose nor promoted it. Emilio Cavallini of Italy did. We don't know if the 67-year-old Cavallini is gay or not nor do we care. We do know that he quit college and started designing a pantyhose collection in 1970. That business has grown over the last forty-two years to a multi-billion dollar company. He's hugely popular in Italy and Europe. While women's wear is his design speciality, he has branched out to menswear and unisex wear. The "fad that's all the rage in Europe" accounts for 2-3% of his pantyhose sales.
With five minutes of research, we learned gays had nothing to do with the mantyhose. One man, who would normally be hailed as a capitalist success story, did. We also learned the fad, based on total sales, appears to be more media hype than a fad. Nothing like media hype to boost sales of a product.
Crank and JJ need to go back to the other side of the Bay where they came from. Sarah should be sent back to her trailer park to cook beans and franks for her man.
We don't know why the Western Shore keeps sending their trash over here, but, hey, take your trash back. We're not a bunch of dumb rednecks who appreciate any form of entertainment because we can't produce our own and Delmarva is not a dumping ground for your no-talents. WZBH should get rid of Crank, JJ, and probably Sarah and replace them with real local talent.
At $27 per pair, mantyhose is too expensive to waste on a pair of entertainer wannabes. I encourage anyone reading this to send a 99-cent pair of pantyhose, or even used ones you don't want any more, to Crank and JJ with instructions of how to wear them as a mouthpiece. We're sure Crank and JJ mumbling through a pantyhose gag would greatly enhance the entertainment value of the show. You can mail your pantyhose to:
WZBH STUDIOS
ATTN: CRANK AND JJ
20200 DUPONT BOULEVARD
GEORGETOWN, DE 19947
Include a google map so they can find their way back to the Western Shore where they belong.
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