Can mantyhose be used as a gag?

Judging by today's dumbass segment, it looks like WZBH is returning to its glory days of gay bashing.  Even the only female DJ at WZBH jumped into the fray.

Today's dumbass centered on the new "fashion trend" of men wearing pantyhose, marketed as mantyhose, among other names.  Crank and JJ reported the mantyhose is all the rage in Europe and they're heading for an American debut.

JJ blurted out, in disgust, that this "fairy dust" fad must've been started by a homosexual.  As Crank and JJ discussed the fad with disgust, liberal amounts of gay bashing were thrown in.  Sarah jumped in the fray, boldly stating that if a guy approached her wearing mantyhose, she'd "punch him in the face."

The message conveyed was clear.  Gays are ruining this country and manhood.  The fad, like gays, is disgusting.  And, at least for women, it is acceptable to punch someone in the face because you don't like what they wear, especially if that person is wearing something that makes you believe he is gay.

Here's what they didn't tell you.  Gays did not develop the mantyhose nor promoted it.  Emilio Cavallini of Italy did.  We don't know if the 67-year-old Cavallini is gay or not nor do we care.  We do know that he quit college and started designing a pantyhose collection in 1970.  That business has grown over the last forty-two years to a multi-billion dollar company.  He's hugely popular in Italy and Europe.  While women's wear is his design speciality, he has branched out to menswear and unisex wear.  The "fad that's all the rage in Europe" accounts for 2-3% of his pantyhose sales.

With five minutes of research, we learned gays had nothing to do with the mantyhose.  One man, who would normally be hailed as a capitalist success story, did.  We also learned the fad, based on total sales, appears to be more media hype than a fad.  Nothing like media hype to boost sales of a product.

Crank and JJ need to go back to the other side of the Bay where they came from.  Sarah should be sent back to her trailer park to cook beans and franks for her man. 

We don't know why the Western Shore keeps sending their trash over here, but, hey, take your trash back.  We're not a bunch of dumb rednecks who appreciate any form of entertainment because we can't produce our own and Delmarva is not a dumping ground for your no-talents.  WZBH should get rid of Crank, JJ, and probably Sarah and replace them with real local talent.

At $27 per pair, mantyhose is too expensive to waste on a pair of entertainer wannabes.  I encourage anyone reading this to send a 99-cent pair of pantyhose, or even used ones you don't want any more, to Crank and JJ with instructions of how to wear them as a mouthpiece.  We're sure Crank and JJ mumbling through a pantyhose gag would greatly enhance the entertainment value of the show.  You can mail your pantyhose to:

WZBH STUDIOS
ATTN: CRANK AND JJ
20200 DUPONT BOULEVARD
GEORGETOWN, DE 19947

Include a google map so they can find their way back to the Western Shore where they belong.

Crank and JJ in the dog house

The other day, Crank and JJ's daily dumbass centered on a couple in Britain who spent $10,000 in plastic surgery for their bloodhound, Junior.  The spiel went along the lines of what normal person in their right mind would spend that kind of money to make their bloodhound look less of a bloodhound by tightening up the dog's skin with a face lift and tummy tuck. 

Here's a quick challenge question for you: what is the difference between Crank and JJ and reporters on The National Enquirer staff?  Answer: reporters for The National Enquirer at least make up their own creative lies out of nothing.  They don't take a real story and lie about it.

After hearing the story as joked about by Crank and JJ, later in the day, another one of our critics heard the story reported on another radio station, 107.1, The Duck.  Their story contradicted the story as told by Crank and JJ.  Sure enough, a local paper in Britain also contradicted Crank and JJ's version of the story.  Some key points:

• The sum total paid over two years was $15,000, not $10,000.
• The couple did not shell out this money.  Their pet insurance did.
• The surgery was not for cosmetic reasons.  The dog suffered from a rare genetic defect that caused excessive bagginess of the skin.  The face lift was to prevent the dog from going blind.  The tummy tuck was to remove excessive skin that had become infected after having a large growth removed from the stomach.

We understand Crank and JJ are entertainers trying really hard to entertain morning commuters.  We don't expect perfect reporting with every fact exact.  $15,000, $10,000, big deal.  minor discrepancy.  Crank and JJ are entertainers, not reporters who have to have every fact correct.  The other two facts to the story, however, are important and central to their claim that the couple were dumbasses for providing plastic surgery to their dog.

Insurance wouldn't have paid for the surgery if the surgery were for cosmetic reasons only.  Obviously, the dog suffered medically and needed attention.  The couple should've been heralded as responsible pet owners for having the foresight to obtain pet insurance.  Even if they had paid for the operations out of their own pocket, they should be heralded as responsible pet owners for getting their dog the necessary medical treatment to prevent the dog from suffering.

Now that Crank and JJ made dumbasses out of the couple by outright lying about the reasons for giving their dog a face lift and tummy tuck, we seriously question the validity of any of their daily dumbass reports.  They've lost their credibility as news gatherers, but gained credibility as lazy entertainer wannabes.  If you're going to make up the daily dumbass, at least be creative enough to come up with one out of your own imagination.  Don't take a real story and omit the facts just so you have someone to make fun of.